Mom Migraine

Not Using Anti anxiety drugs anymore

2012-01-22T15:37:00.001-08:00

After further research on drugs like clonzapam and ativan, which are benzodiazepines, I do not think the long term effects are worth it. This is especially true since I've watched my grandfather develop dementia after taking one for over 40 years. It's hard to say what is and what isn't worth it. Having less migraines definitely increases my standard of living, but having cognitive impairment that may be long lasting, is not worth it to me. I do think this calls for a re-analysis of my treatment plan. This is very hard. I get confused with all the information. I've tried so many things. One thing I may think ' This Is It! ' stops working or has bad long term effects. I guess it is something migraineurs must keep doing. Do I wish to always be in a battle or overwhelmed, no. But I do wish to trudge on in order to help the migraineurs that come after me.

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Happy New Year & Anti Anxiety Meds

2012-01-03T09:29:00.000-08:00

The Holidays were OK by migraine standards, which is great considering what all that busyness can mean for one of us. One of the main reasons, I believe, I had a fairly migraine free holiday, was having fun with my kids. Not the forced kind of fun or the strenuous kind, like when they want to play blocks or trains for the hundredth time and your exhausted. No, it was something I really enjoyed too. We spent three days at an indoor water park.
Usually a trip like that would involve a migraine because of the travel and activity and kid management, but this wasn't like that. There were no schedules to maintain, there was no homework to worry about and no media! It was great. I even enjoyed going down the water slide several times with my older two. I experienced enjoyment! I was relaxed.
The other thing I've noticed about my migraine care is that I have begun really listening to my body. Going through physical therapy for my back, seeing a chiropractor, working on my posture; have all led to paying attention to my body. And when I do, I know when I need to relax. Also, I've noticed my warning signs sooner. I know when things are getting to be too much, especially stress. If I'm not able to relax on my own with a 'mommy time out' or deep breaths, then I get some help from my anti anxiety meds. I use Clonazepam. This is different then the daily antidepressants that do help with mood and pain management. These meds are taken as needed and give you that extra help you need to get over the tension you know is heading in the direction of a migraine.
Now, this hasn't been any easy tool to use and has taken some time for me to get used to knowing when I need it. I take a very low dose and I don't need it everyday. Anti anxiety meds can be addictive. For me, they really help because my biggest triggers are stress and muscle tension. I tried muscle relaxers but they don't seem to do much for me. I had thought they were working but then seemed to stop.
If you consider exploring using anti anxiety meds to help ward off migraines, I strongly encourage you work with your Neurologist closely.

sit up straight

2011-11-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

Ever heard that before? 'Sit up straight' or 'Stand up straight' Come to find out it is very good advice.
Although we can never get rid of all our migraines, unless doctors can find a way to replace our nervous systems, there are some structural problems that can be corrected in order to reduce how many migraines we get. I have very bad posture. Years of kids and lots of pregnancy weight, and lots of computer work hasn't helped.
Come to find out that it isn't just tensing your muscles when you're stressed that causes problems but how you stand and sit. Of course, tense muscles lead to an unhappy nervous system which leads to migraines. When we don't stand or sit properly we are putting unnecessary strain on our muscles that makes them tense. So, even the way you sit and watch TV can add to your migraines.
Since my back pain started, I have been working on my posture. The poor posture I've had all these years has weakened and tensed my muscles to the point that they have started to spasm and cause all kinds of pain and migraines. Correcting my posture has not been an easy task and will take a long time. Not fun, either. But it will be worth it in the end.
It isn't just about standing and sitting straight, although good to do when you think of it, but it is also retraining the muscles to work how they should and relax how they should. I've been doing exercises to strengthen my back and stomach. Sometimes my back gets tired and sore and I have to go lie down just to relax my muscles. Also, sometimes I get over whelmed thinking about all I should be doing to help my frame.
So, it isn't an easy task but one that should make a huge difference.

Oh My Aching Back!

2011-10-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, my back now bothers me on a continuous basis. Not like getting migraines was bad enough. Around the time I started running, my upper back, right side between the shoulder blade and spine, started to really bother me.
I withstood the pain for about three months before I decided to go to the doctor. I had a neurologist visit and he tested my nerves. That didn't turn up anything. So, my regular doctor took xrays and started me on physical therapy. I haven't heard from the xrays yet but the PT is helping.
I guess I have had awful posture for the last ten years (since having my first child) and the running and workouts really aggravated that area. I also do a lot with my right side and have a toddler. It all makes sense, I hope.
What I noticed before the physical therapy was that the back of the base of my skull would tighten up fiercely. My regular doctor called them muscle spasms. Which, in turn, would trigger a migraine.
Like I said, PT has really helped. I don't feel those spasms anymore. I know how to relax my neck, stretch gently and exercise moderately to strengthen my upper back muscles, which were pulled and stretched out. I go three times a week and for almost a week now I get heat, a gentle massage and do a few exercises. I also do stretches and exercises at home.
I can't lie, it has bugged me a bit trying to retrain my back but it has be well worth it.
Now, if I can just get everything else on my list back in order, I'd be great. Sometimes it is so much to remember to take care of myself and my family. But, it is all worth it! Get your back checked out if you haven't yet.

Back to Square One

2011-07-22T15:09:00.000-07:00

Literally. I have been having the worst back and neck pain for the last month. I've had to quit running, doing upper body exercises and ab work. It really is frustrating. I've even had to miss quite a few gym days. Now, instead of running, I'm bike riding and focusing on my legs.
I'm not sure how it flared up so bad. I had been doing yoga but noticed it hurt then. I had been getting massages but it never seemed to be enough to get the tough spots. I've also tried muscle relaxers that seem to barely touch it. It starts between my shoulder blade and spine, then tights up through my neck and base of my skull. I can feel the knots in my neck and the back of my head is so tender.
I'm not sure if all that I was doing was starting to work it out and it has to get worse before it gets better or if I was making it worse. The massage therapist did say that my muscles were really hard in the upper back area. I'm not sure what to try next. I have a Neuro appointment in a week. I'm thinking he may say to see a chiropractor. I also want to make sure my vertebrae are OK.
Have any of you had back problems?
I believe my all started when I had my first child. I was tiny and gained 50 lbs! I never stood the same again. I had two more kids after that. And over the span of 10 years I have been binding and lifting a child. My right side is particularly bad and that is where I lift everything. I did decide to get a nice light weight purse that I can wear over the shoulder. A lighter wallet, too. I do think that is helping.
I hope I get some good advice next week because I'm so sick of the pain.

33 MINS & 36 SECS!!!!

2011-06-18T10:33:00.001-07:00

Do You Ever Take Advantage of a Migraine Situation

2011-06-16T04:17:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought, 'Well, that's going to trigger a migraine?' I'm sure all of us have. Do you ever take it a step further and say, 'Well, I know I'm going to get one, so I might as well..." I know I have. Sometimes I take advantage of migraines. For example, if I know was is coming then why not eat some chocolate and enjoy it. It isn't going to make it worse. Really, once one starts the only thing that can stop it is a triptan. According to my Neurologist, a dumping of serotonin out of the brain happens just before one and triptans contain a synthetic one to replace what was lost. He also says that usually if you are already to the pain stage to just take some ibuprofen because it is too late to stop it.
I know I've said before that I don't think it is wise to be reckless but maybe we can push ourselves a bit or enjoy something we'd usually avoid if we already know a migraine is coming. I used the chocolate example but what about activities? Maybe that low pressure front is rolling in and you know it will trigger a migraine, so maybe enjoying that outdoor activity you may usually avoid is worth it if you are going to get one anyway.
I feel very lucky that I am able to sense my migraines coming on and am able to stop them early with my medication. So, on more than one occasion I have been able to take my medication and still do something, like go for a run (it is really hit or miss if running will trigger one for me) or enjoy a bright sunny day outdoors.
Just a thought to ponder. I've also wondered if many of you try to head one off my taking meds early. I do have those 800mgs of ibuprofen on hand, especially if I think what I'm about to do will cause one, like driving long distances on sunny days. How about you? How do you play the migraine game or perform the migraine dance?

Running? I'd Never Do That!

2011-05-09T16:29:00.001-07:00

Yeah right, famous last words. I know I've written that working out has been going well for me. I have a lot more energy and I don't get migraines from it. As a matter of fact I have found that if I feel a mild one coming on and I exercise anyway, I can keep it at bay.
I do know that as a migraine sufferer that exercise helps but over exertion is bad. I am always careful to only push myself a little bit. Matter of fact my first time on the elliptical machine I could barely make it 15 minutes! Now, I'm running 2.5 miles on the treadmill. I've always been a self professed running hater. My sister is a great runner. She has completed several 5ks, half marathons and a few years ago, the Chicago Marathon. I'm very proud of her but would have never thought to join her.
Well, I am joining her somewhat. I will be running my very first 5k ever in June! Our church is hosting their first Father's Day weekend, The Dad Dash! I was very excited to get involved to design the promotional materials and shirts. And with my husband being an avid runner. I decided what the heck! If a get a migraine, then I get a migraine! That didn't stop me from climbing to the top of Mt. Evans (well I only hiked the last quarter of mile but we all no altitude is bad for migraineurs).
With my recent achievements and future ones to come, I would just like to challenge you all to push yourselves ever so gently in the direction of being more active. It has definitely improved my quality of life. It is amazing to think that just eight months ago I could barely walk around the block without triggering a migraine!

The Best Medicine

2011-05-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

You know, the best treatment I have found has been learning to love myself. Being able to let go of all those negative thoughts and critics has really reduced my muscle tension. I do have a strong trust in the Lord. I believe that knowing His love for me has aloud me the freedom to love myself. I have found that doing my best to understand my condition, find the best care and just simply accepting my situation has been the best medicine. Now, I do still remain cautious about what I can and cannot or won't do. For example, I don't think it would be wise for me to be a chaperone on my son's third grade two night trip to Mackinac Island. There will be lots of activity and noise and chaos. And I'm very OK with that. I don't feel I'm missing out, there will be other times when it would work to visit there as a family on our terms.
Realize that the love of self I'm talking about here isn't something that means putting yourself first before others or only thinking about how things effect you and your disease. I mean more of a peace agreement. I say I will eat every two hours, I will exercise three times a week and find healthy outlets for stress. Then, migraine says 'OK I will visit less frequently when you do this but I can't guarantee that I can stay completely gone. Sometimes things will just happen.' And to that I say 'OK. I understand that this is how this works. I can create an enjoyable life anyway.'
This doesn't mean I stop seeking treatment or try new avenues. It just means I will be less hard on myself if I do forget to take care or a migraine just happens without explanation. I have found a new freedom in this attitude too. I can approach a possible migraine situation and accept that it will probably happen. Like today for example, we didn't sleep well because the little one has an ear infection. Now, I've done a lot more stretching today and will probably take a nap, but if it happens it happens. I have also had a little fun taking advantage of what I like to call 'The Perfect Storm.' The weather may or may not be a factor, but if I know one is most certainly will happen, then why not have that piece of chocolate? Or exercise anyway? Hey, that might just keep it away in the end.
Now, I don't say be reckless for reckless sake. Just go easy on yourself and enjoy life. Love yourself. Stop fighting with yourself and your body and make peace. Trust me it doesn't mean migraine wins. If anything, you'll become stronger.

Sensory Sensitive

2011-04-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

I know I've mentioned the topic of being Sensory Sensitive or Sensory Processing Disorder, but the more I read and experience the more I see a connection. I have an overactive brain, therefore, I have an overactive nervous system. This sensitive nervous system is what responds to triggers to start a migraine. I am easily overwhelmed sensory wise so I experience migraines more often. It is this sensitivity that causes muscle tension for me, too.
I truly believe that brain health and anything that helps to calm the brain is key to my migraine treatment. This means proper brain nutrition and care. I need a balance of fiber, protein and carbs. If migraineurs don't get enough healthy whole grain carbs, your brain cannot produce enough serotonin. The brain chemical that calms the nerves in the brain, it is found artificially in antidepressants and triptans. When I migraine starts, our bodies dump our serotonin. Doctors aren't positive why yet, but this is what my neurologist has shared with me.
I've done a lot of reading on being healthy and eating right. Now, I'm going to venture into brain fitness with Dr. Amen and finding how to manage my sensory intact. I would strongly suggest that if you suffer with migraine disease to look into treatments and ways that you can calm your brain.

Shh, Mommy's Head Hurts

2011-04-14T07:03:00.000-07:00

I can't even tell you how many times I've either said or heard, 'Shh, Mommy's head hurts.' For me, it breaks my heart. I don't want my kids to have to tiptoe around me and worry whether or not I feel good. Having migraines makes it much harder to do fun interactive things with my kids. I don't like feeling inferior in my parenting because of these limitations. I do the best that I can with what I've got. I may not be the mom who can chase you around the yard and jump up and down with you. I may be the mom that can do a craft with you just at the drop of a hat, but I do look for the opportunities when all falls into place and we can. Sometimes I get sad thinking about how I hold back in order to take care of myself. Or the situations I avoid in order to avoid pain. I'm constantly balancing life and experiences. Migraines bring a pain that I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even an enemy. And I pray that my children will not experience what I have. But out of every bad comes a good. The good I have seen is a loving supportive family. Instead of being sad when my kids say, 'Mom, I'm sorry you don't feel good,' I will be proud. Through my pain my children have learned compassion and empathy. They are some of the most caring people you will meet. So many adults have complimented them in this area. What I need to realize is that even though, 'Shh, Mommy has a headache,' brings limitations to our lives that others don't have. It does teach kindness and gentleness, two characteristics that are of more value than success and activities.

Peace & Quiet

2011-04-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

I've had a whole week to myself!!!!!! Can you believe it? My thought on waking every morning was, 'If I could just have one day!" A day off, that is. Well, my gracious husband granted that wish by taking the kids and visiting Grandma and Grandpa. My excitement was almost overwhelming. This energy was at least helpful to get them all out the door at 6am and get them to the airport. Of course, the adrenaline and drive prompted a migraine, but I expected it and took my triptan as soon as I got home. I've noticed lately that I'm much less tolerant to long drives and that any 'high' or adrenaline rush can trigger one. It's hard to stay on an emotional even keel all the time! So, the last week has been great. I've been able to relax, read, pray, shop and visit with friends without any little ones in tow. It is amazing to me how much energy the kids take. I have to admit I'm a little nervous about picking them up today after having such a nice week. Not that they aren't enjoyable, just exhausting, which adds to the migraine count! I did discover last week that due to not good side effects, I had to stop my muscle relaxer. Not completely, but now it is more of an as needed basis. When I start to feel my skull being crushed, I take one or If I'm holding my breath. It has helped. Yesterday, it kept a bad nights sleep migraine away! I did relax this last week but I just don't sleep well at night by myself. I also discovered that I think I may be perimenopausal. Now, I don't have doctor proof to back that up, but it would make sense. My cycles have been changing for the last eight months and at certain times I wake up soaked in sweat. There are other factors, too. My conclusion is that my migraines are being worked on to be managed well, but at the same time I'm experiencing two phases of my life that have collided together to increase the frequency of my headaches. One, my children are small and take a lot of self sacrifice caring that is very straining on the body. And two, I'm in my mid thirties and am heading towards menopause, which is known to increase migraines. But, there is hope that they could subside substantially when it is over. I will continue to balance my meds and avoid the triggers I can and see my doctor regularly. At the least, they can be tolerable for now. I guess that is hopeful?

Don't Leave Home Without Them

2011-03-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

I definitely make sure I don't leave home without my triptans! You never know when that sneaky enemy will strike. It has also become some of my famous last words. We left Friday for an hour drive to Flint to see my family and visit the art museum. We had to take two cars in order to bring some family back with us. So, I had to drive. It was a sunny day and I was concerned about being on time. I was also excited to go see some art. Just as we were leaving, I decided I should go back to the house to get my Maxalt. Then, I found one in my wallet. We even made a pit stop on the way where I bought some Ibuprofen. Just in case. So, the question is: Did I know that the day would bring me a migraine? or Was it a self fulfilling prophesy? Did the worry about one and taking precautions lead to one? Of course, I experienced a migraine. Matter of fact, I felt so ill I had to spend dinner in the car. No fun. I think when it comes to doing things that are out of the ordinary, a break from the home routine, the stress can trigger a migraine for me. It seems like almost anything can cause me stress these days. That also leads to another conclusion, I don't handle sensory overload very well. Migraine or not. Do you experience this too? For example, we had some friends and their children over Saturday night. The ten kids did get a little chaotic a few times and I had to busy myself with drinks and food. I felt completely over stimulated. I didn't get a migraine that night but I did Sunday afternoon. I've read some books and websites on Sensory Processing Disorder and being Sensory Sensitive and how controlling what you are exposed to, a sensory diet, can help. Those with Migraine Disorder are considered already to have a sensitive nervous system. Hence, why migraines are triggered. So, it makes sense that other sensory brain issues might be going on. Another book I read about brain function talks about different issues, like anxiety, and how overactive parts of the brain may be responsible. Personally, I seem to always be sensitive to light and sound and touch, but during a migraine they become much more pronounced. So, would a sensory diet or doing or taking things to calm the overall brain help reduce migraines? Just like the drive to Flint. I was experience lots of visual input from the sun and glare off cars. I felt more from the vibration of the car. Could these things that were over stimulating to me have sent messages to my nervous system to trigger a migraine. And then on Saturday night, the noise of all the kids was very over stimulating to me. We all know that sound and light can be very painful during a migraine. But what role do they play in triggering one?

Just Another Migraine

2011-03-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I wouldn't really say 'just' but it makes for a catchy title. I had a migraine yesterday and I believe it was because of the busy weekend and I missed two muscle relaxer doses. I wasn't sure if they were working or not, but now I know they were helping. Saturday night I was at a concert and got home late. I took my other meds and was going to wait a little bit before taking my muscle relaxer. I just don't like taking a bunch at a time. Anyway, I forgot and then forgot again Sunday morning! By the time church service was over, my skull felt like it was being squeezed to death! The top of my head was so tight and then I started getting very sensitive to noise, uh ooh. So, I took a maxalt and then my flexeral later that night. I took it this morning too. Hopefully getting back on track will help.
I did have a massage last Friday and had a ton of knots in my upper back. My therapist worked very hard on them. That could of contributed too. I'm sure sorting all this muscle tension out will take some time. I still need to keep working on my relaxation along with the medicine. I take little breaks throughout my day and do five deep breaths and feel the muscles relax. I also have a massager at home. Another technique I do is put about an inch and a half to two inch thick book under my head and lay on the floor. This allows all my back and head muscles to relax. They are just so used to being tense. My neurologist really wishes insurance would start covering massage for headaches, not limited physically therapy. It can really make a difference.

Muscle Relaxers

2011-03-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

I saw my Neuro Doc last Friday. I had been having a ton of muscle tension in my scalp and temples. I was doing some reading and considering botox injections. I also wondered about a muscle relaxer and if there was something better for anxiety other than Clonazepam, that just made me really sleepy. I am on Elavil, which is an antidepressant. It is the only one considered useful in pain management.
After talking with my doc, that I really like, he decided to up the Elavil by 5mgs and add Flexeril. The Clonazepam wasn't really helping so it was dropped. My massage therapist had brought the scalp issue to my attention at our last session. I'm glad because it has really made me aware of how much I do not relax in that area. I've been massaging it a lot lately myself and started the muscle relaxers. I have noticed improvement. According to my neuro, the flat muscle of the scalp flexes in all directions and squeezes the head, triggering the migraine. My head feels a little sore but I think that is from the muscles finally releasing.
I have hopes with this and will continue with the treatment at least until my next visit at the end of April. I have had two people tell me that muscle relaxers do the trick for them and are currently migraine free. I hope that is the result for me. I doctor does do botox injections. He said that insurance will cover it if you are at about 15 migraines a month. I'm just under that, so it could be a future option.

A Sensitive Subject

2011-03-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

This morning I was still in bed and was listening to some inspiring music. It was peaceful, relaxing, thoughtful. And as I lie there thinking about the struggles in my life and where I find my hope and strength, something occurred to me. Something that I'm sure a lot of you can relate to. Something, that as a migraine sufferer, I don't experience very often. And that is feeling like myself.
Yesterday was a high tension day. It didn't matter the cause or source. I just had lots of muscle tension and felt on edge. I decided to take my antianxiety meds, even though I usually only take them at night. It helped, I could tell. I wasn't having to stop and take deep breaths as often and my head muscles were much more relaxed. I then later took another one before bed to help me to sleep and keep the tension away.
This morning I woke up very groggy. It was to be expected having taken the medicine last night. I just didn't want to pull myself out of bed yet. And since my youngest was still sleeping, I decided to take advantage of this rare moment.
Now, even though the music was inspiring and soulful, I still had to fight off negative thoughts of: 'You should get Isaac soon, don't let him sleep too late' 'Your not a good parent because you are regretting the moment he wakes up' 'You are being selfish and lazy by staying in bed.' I dispelled these negative thoughts and continued my reflection.
I'm not perfect and never will be. I decided that that is where I find my strength. Knowing that no matter what I do, I will never be perfect, so why beat myself up with those thoughts. It is ok to be flawed. To have damaged genetics.
In this moment of clear thought, I found myself feeling peaceful, happy, no even better, content. That is when I feel most like me. I saw a beautiful crystal clear view of my surroundings. The peace and thankfulness of my home and life. Even in the surface beauty of art I've created in our house.
These moments are rare these days and I think they have been most of my life. We never give up the fight to find relief. We never stop exploring ways to reduce our pain. But sometimes during that battle, I lose sight of me. I fight so hard and am so hard on myself that I forget to just be me and be content in that moment.
I wonder too, what is the price to be paid to be rid of migraines. Sometimes, I'd say keep going, fight for all cost to get control. And sometimes I wonder if I'm fighting a losing battle.
It is so important to grasp who we are. As I explore medications and try to find that balance between pain and relief, I wonder what am I sacrificing. Will the next drug put me in such a fog that I will never have those crystal clear moments? I do not like migraines and do not want to experience them. And I do want to reduce the number of them that I have. But I do want to feel comfortable in my skin. I do want to feel contentment. I do want to think clearly. I do want to continue to experience creativity. Most of all, I want to have more moments where I feel like me.

Migraines are Depressing

2011-03-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

I'm really happy about all the positive changes I've made that you have read in previous posts. They have all been very beneficial and have helped to boost my overall outlook on Migraine Disorder. Although, something still remains lurking around the corner at the first sign of a migraine.
I've read a lot about Migraine Disorder. How it happens. What the triggers are. Why it happens and more. Something that stood out to me was the comorbity of Migraine Disorder and Depression. Bascially, a lot of people who have one disease tend to also have the other. The two seem to go hand and hand for most, but it is unclear if one causes the other.
What I know is that migraines in of themselves can be very depressing to experience. So far, our treatments have involved in great detail, a strict evaluation of our lives. What am I eating? What am I drinking? What am I doing? How am I sleeping? What am I not doing? All these questions can lead to a serious doubt in self. I believe that understanding triggers is very important. You learn to avoid things that you know for sure will give you a headache, but there is still so much gray area out there. A lot of times for me, depression hits the moment I feel a headache coming on.
I can't help but wonder, 'What did I do?' Ugh, I know the medical community does not mean to make you hard on yourself. Not to mention, that is already my personality style. But the self evaluation can be really tough. I didn't cause myself to have Migraine Disorder! I'm not doing things to make myself have a headache, at least, not on purpose. There are so many different triggers out there and some we aren't even aware of.
The other depressing thoughts are; 'Not another one, I just had one last ....' and 'I don't want to go through this again. I hope I took my meds soon enough.'
Having to experience migraines can be very depressing. Those of us who have them know how debilitating they are. They are very disruptive and can be destructive mentally.
Some things I've learned are: To lower my expectations of myself, stop the self mental abuse (if I'm cognitive enough to) and it is ok to go on antidepressants. As a matter of fact, the antidepressant Elavil has been shown in studies to reduce the number of migraines in some patients. It is worth a shot.
Also, I've learned that I don't need to be super anything. I'm good enough the way I am. My family loves and supports me and I know that this makes a huge difference in the management of my disease. I'm not perfect and I never will be. Migraine Disorder is a fact of my genetics and I will never conquer it, but I can cope better. My positive changes have been to help me cope better. I do believe the Elavil has helped me to get to a place where I'm not overwhelmed with depression.

Process of Elimination

2011-03-02T20:20:00.000-08:00

There has been a great physical, mental, emotional and spiritual movement in my house. My husband and I have been working hard at the gym. We've been talking our problems out and having been taking the time to be with God. It has made a huge difference in my migraine care.
It has also been another process of elimination of sorts for me, too. Back in CO, I started working on my migraine care, but really lost touch with it when we moved. There has been a ton of stress in our lives in the past year. Job interviews and visits for my husband, a bad work situation, my mother became terminally ill and passed last October. And, not to mention, moving across country and have three children 9, 5 & 2. And of course, getting used to a new place, with a whole new set of environmental factors. Some changes have been good and some have been tough. But overall, we are doing well and the kids have adjusted greatly.
One aspect of my migraine care I've finally decided to take seriously was eliminated things from my diet and habits that I knew had the potential to cause a migraine. Of course, there are still things I can't control like, hormones and changing weather patterns. I found myself just wanted to get rid of the stuff after years of saying I 'have' to or I 'need' to, I decided I wanted to. And that makes a huge difference in making changes.
My Neurologist is firmly against using caffeine in any way. To either boost your energy, which you eventually end up worse off, to using it to help a headache. That was a bad cycle I had gotten into when my husband was out of town a month ago. It wasn't pleasant when it wore off. I've also realized my need to reduce muscle tension. This is something that is really bad for me and really struggle with. One thing that added to it was chewing gum. So, that ones out! I also , after a few 'fun' nights decided that alcohol just wasn't worth it. If I do have a drink, it is a vodka one because I can handle that the best. Also, I limit myself to just a couple. There have been other lifestyle changes too that I'm sure a good for the migraine too, like eating better and exercising more.
So, I've eliminated and added to hopefully help. I am back to around once a week. It can be more depended on my stress level. One thing that has really helped lower my stress level is learning to lower my expectations. I don't need to put so much pressure to perform all the time on myself and realized that sometimes what I've done or accomplished is good enough. A lot of my tension comes from those elusive expectations. Like being the perfect mom, who can be a shrink, teacher, minister and disciplinarian to her children. I've lightened my mental load.
Even though this has helped a lot for my mental and emotional well being, I still have a lot of tension in my muscles. Mainly on my head, neck and shoulders. This may need some help from the doctor. The massages have been great but I just can't seem to stop tensing. So, this will be my next area to explore. Besides medication, I want to try chiropractics, maybe acupuncture. We'll see. I need to call my doctor first. And yes, I've been doing stretches, heat and relaxation techniques.

Live Well

2011-01-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

Ever since my mom passed in October, I've made a lot of changes in my life. When I reflected on where I was at in my life after she passed, I realized that I needed to take further steps in my effort to live well.
It wasn't just enough to see a Neurologist. I became more proactive in my health, especially after watching my mom's health fail and wondering to myself what else could of been done. What else could be done for me? With migraines you always feel like you are in a catch 22. Your damned if you do and damned if you don't, especially when it comes to exercise. Eating healthy seems a simple one, but it isn't. It is a fine balance between sugar, fat and protein.
I decided to go back to my Neurologist and talk about adding Elavil, the antidepressant know to help with migraines. I knew I was going through some grief induced depression and that I was having a hard time wanting to get up and get going in the morning. Let alone sleeping well. Anyway, we combined it to my mix of Verapamil and Levothyroxine. I am unable to take Topamax because I've had a couple of kidney stones.
I also decided that I needed to get active. I've always feared exercise because I usually ended up with a migraine when I did. But, I had gained weight and felt sluggish. I also wanted to feel stronger and live well. I watched my mom become weaker over the years. She had suffered a lot, and not by her own doing, but getting active was a struggle and it would of helped her. I understand the depletion of energy that disease and depression bring, so I know how hard it is to get up and go. So, I decided that I wasn't going to worry about whether or not I got a migraine or whether or not I was tired. I was going to do it anyway. What could it hurt. I had been getting three migraines a week and if the doctors are right, then the exercise would eventually pay off.
I also knew that I had issues I needed to work out and that talking to a counselor could help reduce some of the extreme tension I was feeling. Another reason I wanted to talk to my Neurologist.
With all three elements combined, I was able to got three weeks without a migraine! I can't recall the last time that happened. I love exercising. I go three times a week and I only got a migraine my first time. I look forward to it and definitely feel stronger and less stressed. I've also worked on my eating habits. The Elavil and counseling where also a huge factor in reducing my stress and migraines. My husband and I are committed to living well and I'm so glad that I took that risk to get up and exercise.

Holiday Blessings 2010

2010-11-20T10:08:00.000-08:00

This has been a year of perspectives. Our perspective has changed greatly. As I reflect on how all of our lives have changed this past year, I can’t help but feel different.
This summer we packed up all our belongings and traded in our Rocky Mountain view for Michigan. We had a wonderful time this summer taking in our new lakeside, bustling port town.
This fall as the kids got settled into their new school, my mother fell very ill. She passed away on October 3rd. Her perspective changed greatly and so did mine. Hers is now one of great glory and peace. Mine is one of great appreciation and respect.
Having moved, I now had beautiful new surroundings to fill with wonderful things and great projects to dream of. I wanted to improve on several aspects of my life. But, when my mother died and as my birthday approached, I saw things differently. I no longer dream about how much money I would get and what great new thing I would spend it on. Instead I wanted to value those around me. Emily got from me that awesome new Halloween costume that wasn’t an option the week before. All of us got to go to a hometown football game and had a wonderful time. It was strange, I just all of a sudden felt different. My perspective on what was important changed. Although, I did, of course, buy myself a new outfit.
Now, as we reflect on the major changes life can bring us, especially as we hear all the things happening in our friends’ and families’ lives, we can’t help but have a different perspective. We have a new appreciation for where God has placed us, and what he has given to us in our lives.
We have all lost and gained in this past year. I hope you all know that we love the privilege of being a part of your lives. Whether we talk with you frequently or just now and then, you are still of great value to us. We pray God’s great peace for you this holiday and just maybe he’ll change your perspective somehow. It is always good to have a fresh one now and then.
May you know that you are greatly loved for who you are and may you continually seek to improve upon your love.

The Lord be with you,

Mindy, CJ, David, Emily & Isaac

Losing Someone Means Migraines

2010-10-21T14:54:00.000-07:00

I am relieved to say that there was nothing abnormal on my MRA or MRI. I am very thankful for that, but the reason I haven't written in a long time to let you know is that my mother passed away on October 3rd. It was sudden but due to an illness she had for three years. She passed away from Liver disease which caused her kidneys to fail. Unfortunately she was not a candidate for a liver transplant.
I am very sad but am relieved that she is no longer suffering she was very very sick. This makes me think about life, diseases and suffering. Us migraineurs know what suffering is. For some it is constant and daily and for others, like me, it is unpredictable and severe. I was so nervous with mixed emotions the day I went to find out my test results. I didn't want to have anything terminal but at the same time if they found nothing, that would mean the same ole, same ole. No instant cure or ah ha, that is what is causing them. So goes the life of someone with migraine disease.
Even though most of us, according to the medical field's limited knowledge, do not have an underlying cause besides an overact nervous system, it is very important to have that baseline MRI and MRA done. Because you never ever know and if something in your health every changes then your neurologist has something to compare to in your medical history.
Every person suffers in this broken world, whether it is emotional, mental, physical or all combined. Nothing is perfect here. My mom was also a migraine sufferer for many years of her life. They did become less and less with age. How and why her liver became diseased, we don't know. And it was a shock to have her leave so soon. We were still hanging on to the possibility of a transplant but not for her to go the weekend she was finally denied to be listed.
Life is so uncertain like that. My mother and I know many migraineurs also suffer from depression. It is very tough to deal with it all and I'm sure there is a brain chemistry connection. It can all become so very overwhelming which in turn can cause more headaches. This is where I am at right now. But I am aware enough to know to go get help. I do not want to look back and think I spent most of my time loathing life because of my struggles. I want to enjoy my life and my children and cherish every moment. My mother was only 64 years old and at 34 it feels way too young to lose a parent.
I know I have many days ahead of migraines and sadness but I do know that I can still draw joy out of my life one way or another. Please do the same fellow migraineurs. Don't lose hope. And I know that one day again I will see my mother and have life complete, healed and whole.

Found a New Neurologist

2010-08-23T10:58:00.001-07:00

My family and I just moved across country this summer. It was a great thing for us to do, but along with a move always comes finding a new doctor. For most migraine patients this is a pain in the butt. Especially if you liked your doctor in your previous town. It all worked out for me because I wasn't very thrilled with my doctor back in Denver. Of course, just trying someone new, whether you want a new doc or not, is troubling because who knows if they really get it. I don't think my two previous doctors didn't care or have the medical know how, I just felt like they really didn't get it. I need care and an order of 'upping a dose of blood pressure meds and see you in three months,' just doesn't cut it for me. Especially since I was getting two migraines a week and that time, so if the medication didn't work, that would be a total of 270 by the time I saw her next. I don't think so.
I am very happy to report that I had a really great first visit with my new Neurologist that I picked out of the phone book. I do remember seeing 'headaches in his small list of aliments that he treats in his very small entry in the yellow pages. I'm glad I gave him a try. He asked me a lot of questions, especially about my current meds and treatments. He also allowed me to ask a lot of questions. And to my relief, he ordered a baseline MRI and MRA. Now, I've been having migraines since I was about 9 or 10. I had an MRI done when I was a child. My previous Neuro doc thought that that was good enough, since they didn't find anything unusual.
I'm not the type of person to assume the worse medically, but I do think a current MRI would bring me some piece of mind. The new Neurologist wants it done in order to have something to compare to in the future. A baseline so that he knows the health of my brain now in case something should ever change in the future. He also wants to eliminate any possible other issues, like an aneurysm. This makes me feel like I'm being well taken care of. I hope this continues to be a good relationship. He also told me to give myself plenty of time to adapt to a new environment. Even changes, like different water, can through your system for a loop.

Anyone Else Addicted to Caffeine?

2010-07-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

I've discovered something over the last week. I have a caffeine addiction that I didn't have before.
I have been using Excedrin more often and drinking Coke more. What I discovered that as long as I had some form of caffeine, I could keep that aching nagging feeling in the back of my neck away. It's that feeling that if I don't do something about it soon, I know where this is headed. I used to take three Aleve or four Ibprofen. The Aleve would work and if I was closer to a migraine, I'd throw Benadryl in, but if I was too far into it, I'd need my Imitrex.
Well, as long as I can drink a 20 oz Coke or take one Excedrin, I don't need the Aleve. To be honest, the Ibprofen never did anything anyway.
I'm not sure if I should keep up the caffeine or not. I know in some people it can cause headaches too. Maybe soon my system will get used to it and it'll start causing them. But for many, a cup of coffee a day is just fine for them. I think I might try a half of an Excedrin and see what that does. I do get a tad jittery, but not enough to interfere with what I'm doing.

Not Migraine Free, but Who's Perfect Anyway

2010-07-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been since March that I have written anything. A lot has changed in my life. My husband got a new job, so we moved across the country back to my native state of MI. Colorado was beautiful, but I sure am happy to be back to humidity and low altitude.
The stress of the move and my mother being ill has caused several headaches over the last month, but they are starting to die down a bit. I haven't had to take a triptan in two weeks. That is wonderful. I have felt some start to come on and I've been able to control them early enough with Excedrin migraine or Benadryl, depending on the time of day.
We now live in Port Huron, MI, which is a major port city with Canada. We are less than two miles from Lake Huron and the St. Clair river. I love it! Water has always been my favorite, much more than mountains. We are still settling in, so I haven't found a new doctor yet. As a matter of fact, we still don't have our new prescription cards, so I've had to pay per pill. At least we can get reimbursed for it.
My husband's new job makes him a Senior Pastor. This is a much better setting for all of us. He loves his new work and the people there, me too. We miss our friends in CO but are very thankful for the change. Our house is amazing. It has five bedrooms and a gorgeous back yard. Each kid finally has their own room and I even have a studio. I hope to get creative real soon.
I will keep you posted as time goes on to see how the headaches pan out in this new environment. It should be easier on the body and less stress. I'm sure I'll still get one now and then but two weeks without a triptan is awesome!

Kids and Migraines & Sensory Processing Issues

2010-03-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

I know I've been focused a lot on my personal journey lately, but I'd like to report on my son's. I wrote about him some last fall when his migraines really started up. It was a change and season and the start up of the school year. His manifested as abdominal pain to start, which is common in young kids. Sometimes he had a headache and sometime not, or just a headache.
Well, as the school year progressed it became evident to his teacher that there was something else going on too. My son, who is eight and in the second grade, has always been hypersensitive. He doesn't like loud noise, his clothes can bother him more than usual and there are other things too that I can't think of right now. Either way, his teacher is noticing that he has a hard time in large group and understanding verbal instruction. He does great with anything visual or written. So, we are exploring the possibility of Sensory Processing Disorder. His school, which is a private one, has a wonderful lady who comes and works with the kids that may have any learning difficulties. That has just started, so I can't wait to see what her assessment says. I have done a lot of research online and can totally see how he fits into it.
In the past, when he was only 2 going on 3, we had a preschool try to tell us that he was autistic. Now, I don't want to offend anyone who is or has a child who is, but that was really hard to hear. And from our own psychology backgrounds and knowing our son, we didn't believe them. There has also been mention of ADD. Now, what it didn't help us realize is that there is another disorder that can look like both of those or even coexsist with them. I am thankful for his second grade teacher, because she had more insight than just an assessment.
As I was doing research, I also learned a lot about myself. I was pretty much exactly like my son as a child. Even my sister can attest to that. My nephew has hearing difficulties and his school has been looking to assess anyother issues there could be. During this time and having a friend whose son has Sensory Processing Disroder, has recognize the behaviors that I exhibited as a child. I have always described myself as hypersensitive and boy can I get overwhelmed with too many stimuli happening at once.
I have contributed this sensitivity to my migraining brain. And now, with the development of my son with his migraines and sensory processing issues, I can't help but wonder the connection between the two. Migraineurs do have excitable brains, so does that lend to the sensitivity and sensory issues?
Yesterday, I had a wonderful Cranial Sacral therapy, kind of like chiropractics and massage, but focusing on the pelvis and head. The friend I went with was describing her son just like mine with school and sensory issues, hers is now grown. But wow and he has had migraines and she is a frequent migraineur, too.
I plan on continuing digging deeper into this issue. Right now, I'm exploring diet and its effects on the brain. We all know it does. There isn't much out there on diet for Sensory Processing Disorder, so I've been looking at Autism and ADHD, since they have similar traits. I'll let you know what I find and how that can connect to the diets we need as migraineurs.

I Need to Give You an Update! PLEASE READ!

2010-02-28T10:38:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it has been over a month since I've written, but it has. January was the icing on the cake. It was the top of the migraine scale. It was off the charts. I was so run down. So tired. So disappointed.
Yeah, we had traveled for the holidays, so coming back was awful. Then jury duty, then my husband had to leave for a week for school. I thought that was going to absolutely do me in.
Then, I had my neurologist appointment. I was looking forward to it. I needed help and hopefully some answers. I had found my previous bottle of Verapamil from a few years ago and I was taking a much higher dose. Maybe that would help!
Well, as every patient eventually learns. You have to advocate for yourself. I've read a lot, I'm informed in all the typical things that are told to a migraine sufferer. But, I just felt there had to be something more. Whether or not it was true, I'm sure all the sufferers out there have felt that before. Anyway, basically, my doctor, who I do like, said, 'I don't like that you are still getting 8 a month.' She did increase my dose of Verapamil, but not as high as before and said see you in 5 months. FIVE MONTHS!! That is 40 more migraines if you can do the math! Basically, I left that appointment in tears.
After that, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I was devastated. I was suffering. This couldn't be the way things were going to be for the rest of my life. I decided to share one Sunday morning about what was going on in my life. I felt I was mourning a life lost. Afterwards, I lady from the congregation started a dialog with me and it was what helped me to get to where I am now. I am down to 1 a week! That is half of what I was getting before!
Basically from hearing about her experience and doing some more in depth research online. I mean, reading every word and clicking on any link that might describe how I felt in order to read more. I also wrote down everything I knew about myself, how I felt, my physical experiences. I took notes about what I read. Finally, I decided to call my OB to have my hormone levels tested. I'm so glad I did and I was encouraged to. My doctor decided to start with my thyroid. A problem based on my history that you'd never think of for me. I thought this was good because of one line on Wikipedia that stated that there was such thing as postpartum hypothyroidism that can cause migraines. OK, in my case an increase because I got them before.
Ironically, it was in a panel he had already ordered before Christmas, that I hadn't gotten around to having done yet. It was with basic things, like cholesterol and such. So, I went as soon as I could to have my blood taken. Sure enough, three days later I started thyroid treatment. It wasn't extremely low, but low enough that it would help to be on medication. And boy has it! I haven't taken a triptan in over 10 days!
I know I will still have migraines, my body seems to be made for them, but I am so glad I decided to fight for myself instead of give up. I shared with those around me a real heartfelt struggle and found others who were in my shoes before. I also fought enough to do my own research when I felt I wasn't getting the care I needed. I had learned along the way not to fight a migraine, it makes them worse, but what I forgot was to fight for myself. So far so good, this is really helping and I am feeling more like myself again. If this isn't the answer, there are still some tests my OB is willing to do for me.

The Migraine Fear Factor

2010-01-12T20:22:00.000-08:00

It isn't a pleasant phobia to deal with. At different points along the way, I've just said to myself, 'This is going to result in a migraine and there is nothing I can do about it.' Times like, going to an amusement park for the day or flying on an airplane. As much as we try as hard as we can to avoid the migraine situations, it isn't always possible. Events, like weather changes or mandatory Jury duty are unavoidable.
I've known for a month that I would have Jury duty today and like everyone else just generally dread it. Just sitting for hours waiting to see if you get picked and then if you are then, you have to all of a sudden become alert to listen intently to the trial. I have served as a juror before, about two years ago, for the county. Of course, it involves getting up really early in the morning, something, I don't do well.
I reported for duty, got selected and then got ready to start the trial. I think I scared the 'you know what' out of the bailiff because as we were about to head into the court room, it hit, and I had to ask were the nearest restroom was and if I could leave if I was going to vomit. He had the expression of 'really?' I just explained to him that I felt a migraine coming on and felt very nauseated.
I don't recall if I had Imitrex with me. I never did get sick, but definitely was in a lot of pain when we were dismissed for the day.
So, with that fearful memory of Jury duty, you can understand why I wasn't looking forward to today. So much so that I couldn't sleep well last night, although that was combined with a migraine. And we all know that not sleeping well is a great trigger.
I had gotten myself worked up about the whole thing. I did come up with a plan though. I packed my triptan and some granola bars (so I wouldn't skip any food). I also went through the McDonalds drive thru to get a nice high in fat and high in protein breakfast. They always seem to set me up better for a big day than anything else. I also knew that if most likely would happen and I would be prepared.
Well, the good news is that it didn't! I sat there for a couple of hours and found out that the trial I was randomly selected for was dropped! It all worked out well. Although, I'm not pleased with how afraid I was of getting a migraine and especially because I had in a similar situation before. It isn't easy or convenient to plan your activities around migraines, but then again, I can't live in a bubble. I want to enjoy life. And sometimes, you end up with a headache for no reason at all or no matter what preventative measures you take.

Environmental Factors

2009-12-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

The family and I took a 22 hour round trip last Thursday night through Friday night. It actually went really well. I was certainly expecting a big migraine soon, but so far, not much. I had to take a couple of Aleve, to relieve some tension in the back of my neck. I also had to do half of a strong pain reliever last night, but it wasn't much and it didn't develop into anything.
My conclusion, is lower altitude. I really believe it is making a huge difference. I'm not completely at sea level and not over doing it, so I really feel a difference this time. So, as the two weeks rolls by we'll see what happens. There is always extra stress with being with the kids away from home without Daddy.
It is also not nearly as dry here. I don't dehydrate as easily. I do have more energy, too.
I really do believe that environmental factors are a big factor in my migraines.

To do or not to do, that is the question...

2009-12-12T03:27:00.001-08:00

Everyone who suffers from migraines knows what it is like when those nagging, disappointing and horrifying feelings of one coming on creep up. For me it is such a let down. No, not today. No, not again. I just took a triptan yesterday. I'm going to get a rebound.
Then comes the complete analysis. What did I eat, what didn't I eat? How well did I sleep? Am I dehydrated? Did I do too much?
It really really sucks. I feel like I failed myself and my family. I'm putting them out again by being useless. I can never get anything done or do anything fun without the migraine consequence.
I sometimes daydream about what it would be like to not have to even consider one happening. Oh, the many things I'd plan and do. I'd even become a vegetarian. I can't even begin to fathom what it is like to be someone who can do a good day of hard work and not get sick. Or, go hiking or running. To not have to extensively plan out an event based on avoiding a migraine.
That is where the fine balance of whether to do or not do comes into play.
To top it off, add children to the mix, and try to take care of yourself. Yeah right, your too busy and babies a designed to keep you from sleeping. I just have to remind myself that they won't be this dependent forever.
I think the hardest feeling to wrestle is the feeling of not being dependable. Nothing is consistent and nothing is certain. So, do I do nothing? I will start projects and have to back down as soon as they become too much. For my health and sanity, I cannot plow into something knowing that the consequence will be a migraine.
But wait there's more, add a personal life in there. You can't avoid it all. Things will cause stress. People don't always get along. People don't always listen. And what goes hand and hand with migraine disease? Depression and anxiety. They create a vicious cycle.
Over the past three or so months, I have developed a significant increase in depression. I am dealing with the full force of the impact of a bad situation in my personal life. Having migraine disease makes it much harder to deal with the issues life throws at you. So, what can you do?

Weird Sleep Patterns

2009-12-05T04:49:00.001-08:00

Is it just me or does having migraine disease cause really strange sleep patterns. I developed a migraine about 3:30 yesterday, so I took some Imitrex and decided to lay down until my husband got home. All I remember was him coming upstairs at some point and asking me if I wanted dinner. I heard a few noises here and there, but the next thing I knew, it was 6:00 am. Oh my, I can't believe I slept so long. Of course the stress of my life doesn't help because I was up way late the night before. Now, tonight/morning (Friday/Saturday) I am up again! Just when I thought I could go to bed and actually sleep, about 3 am, the baby woke up and has been restless ever since. Ugh! For me, sleep is a loosing battle. I have once again found myself back in the battle of balancing migraine care and real life. Sometimes, they just don't go together.
I've also been super stressed out lately. Lots of personal stuff going on, so that has caused some depression and anxiety. I think it will come to an end soon, so that is good, but in the meantime it really sucks. I've also just been really starting to digest the fact that having three small children doesn't always allow you to do what you need. Rather it is lack of time, sleep, patience, money, etc... Although, I will say rather strongly that I love them dearly and think they are such a blessing!

So far, so good

2009-10-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

I had my follow up visit with my neurologist. I have been keeping a calendar diary, which she finds very helpful and wants me to continue. I went for 4-5 a week to about 2 a week. Big improvement, but she wants me down to no more than 2 a month. I couldn't agree more.
I have been pretty much sticking to the diet. Although, I don't really think I have food triggers, I will keep it up. My doctor really believes it is important and it is healthier for me. I've also been really increasing my fruits and veggies while reducing my meat. Overall, it makes me feel a lot better.
The only thing I've been bad at is exercising. I haven't done yoga in a while and I really feel it in my back. The good thing is that when my back or neck or even the back of my head get achy that if I take Aleve or Advil, it seems to take care of it. That didn't happen before. I'm really watching that I don't take too much of any pain killer in a week. My doctor said no more than two triptans, otherwise my rebound headaches can come back.
My husband and I have also been working hard to face the unnecessary stresses in our lives. To say 'no' more often to work related events and not overreact to some of the foolishness that goes on at his job. Did I mention he is a pastor, that is why it effects me, too. It is our church. I've realized that I've let the stress of our lives get to me more lately, so I think I'm going to go talk to a counselor. Just to make sure I'm processing things well. I really noticed things were getting to me when I'd wake up with my teeth clenched. Not good for a migraine suffer. And I didn't really want to get out of bed. I was too overwhelmed.
So, I hope things continue to look up, it gives me hope!

Stopping Chronic Migraine?

2009-10-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

Chronic migraine is a very serious issue and a very hard one to deal with. There is the physical pain along with the emotional trouble. It makes you doubt your ability to read your own body and its signals. You wonder whether or not to take medicine, sometimes it is too late and other times it just doesn't work anyway. There is also an overall sense of failure because you can't get them under control. You try to avoid triggers, but it just isn't working.
Well, after I landed myself in the ER a couple of weeks ago, I knew it was time to see a neurologist. Whatever I was doing and whatever my primary care physician was doing just wasn't cutting it. I need pain management that won't cause more migraines. I had gotten into a cycle of rebound headaches. A risk that comes with taking more than two doses of any kind of pain killer, whether it is a triptan or something like ibuprofen.
My new doctor was very friendly and supportive, but also professional and serious. She right away, put me on a steroid tapper to break the cycle of rebound headaches from taking up to four triptans a week. The good news is that while on the steroid I did have any migraines. It has been about a week and a half and I've only had to take two triptans. I had a migraine come on today, most likely triggered by our trip to the park and three days ago.
For me, this is great improvement. Only two triptans in a week and a half, when I was taking about four or five in one week. And that they were three days a part.
I have started taking trigger avoidance even more seriously. Some things are hard, like trips to the park. I don't want to miss out on that. And, I hate having this overall sense of fear when it comes to doing anything outdoors. Things have been really busy and stressful with church, so that one needs some work. I also started a new diet.
My doctor really respects the diet from the Headache Society. So, it is bye bye aged cheese, processed meats and chocolate. Also, no MSG, yeast extract and soy sauce. I think it has helped. I did cheat a little today on some very yummy chili mac.
I also have been taking the blood pressure medicine, Verapamil for the last week and a half. I believe it is helping because it feels like it is. I also don't feel the headaches as intensely. I have taken it in the past and it did do some good.
Well, I hope things continue to look up. I hope that everyone takes their medications seriously. You need to take them when you feel one coming on in order for it to work on time to not have to suffer so intensely, but at the same time watch that you aren't getting rebound headaches, too.

Trip to the ER

2009-09-18T14:38:00.000-07:00

I kind of felt this last big migraine coming on. It was mild and I thought it wasn't going to be anything. Boy was I wrong!
I picked my oldest up from school and developed intense pain by the time I completed the 12 mile drive to church. I had him run in and get Dad so he could get the baby out of the car. I went straight to the couch in my husbands office, but closed the blinds first. After about ten minutes, I knew this wasn't going to be one I could just suffer through. I didn't take anything in time and knew that by now it was too late. I wouldn't be able to keep it down and couldn't wait the hour and a half for it to work. So, off to the ER.
Surprisingly enough, I haven't been to the ER for a migraine for two years. The last time I went was because the Triptan didn't work. I am very relieved that I went because the pain was so intense that I wouldn't of been able to stand it. It even lasted longer than usual. I'm usually OK after a couple of hours. It had started coming on at 3pm and I had to have a second dose of narcotics at about 8:30pm.
The doctors and nurses in the ER at Littleton Hospitial were awesome. They were very understanding and helpful. Of course, like all ERs I wish I would of gotten the meds a tiny bit faster. Although, they did get me in right away, so the process of being cared for started right away. There weren't many other people there, but I did only sit for only five minutes to wait to get checked it.
After talking to the doctor, we agreed that I didn't need to have a CTscan. He said they could, of course, if I wanted them to. We concluded that it was a regular migraine in the way it played out. It was very painful, 9 on a scale of 10, but it didn't have any atypical symptoms. Of course, I did promise to go see a neurologist, which they printed on my discharge papers.
I called the office yesterday and have an appointment for Tuesday. I just hope there is something they can find to do to help. This all happened Wednesday evening and I have definitely had to take Maxalt yesterday and today. I'll keep you posted on how the doctor visit goes.
Also, it seems to me, that my oldest son, who is eight, is starting to show signs of migraines. He has come home abut 4 times in the last month from school with a really bad belly ache. Yesterday, he had a headache also. It seems to be on days he doesn't eat well, so first step will be, to make sure he eats his lunch and snack. If it keeps happening, I will take him to see his doctor.

Just Being Honest

2009-09-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

It makes me sad when I look at my calendar. I had only 10 migraine free days last month. I was able to stop most of them with Maxalt. I am very tired of 'trying' things because nothing seems to work and with so many triggers, I can't avoid them all. Especially having three children and did I ever mention that they all seem to only be able to speak on loud voices. Well, at least the older two.
Overall, I feel like a failure. The migraines are so disruptive. They make me unable to commit to anything. And, half the projects I do do, I either can't enjoy the outcome or suffer a migraine when I attend an event. Not to mention the several headaches it took to get there. I'm involved in visual arts for our church's worship service and also marketing of events and programs. So, I feel useless because I have to keep decreasing my work amount and I don't always meet deadlines or am able to be a part of the result. Like last Sunday, for example, was the very first one of our new worship services. I designed the look of the service for print and the projection, but due to a migraine, I wasn't able to experience the service.
I don't want to go back to my doctor because I don't feel anything is working and she said no to Topamax.
The migraines also make me snappy and moody with my children. I try very hard to keep an even tone, but when it hurts so bad and they won't listen, I don't know what else to do than raise my voice. I feel like there is no plan and no teaching of what to do when mommy is sick. Daddy will take care of the kiddos for me and is supportive with when I need to lay down. But, I feel there is no pro activeness. No preventative measures. It isn't a priority and I don't know how to make it one. I don't want our lives to center around my headaches, but I don't feel I'm getting exactly what I need. And who knows what that is.
When you've struggled with this since you were about eight years old, there are several emotional and mental side effects you have to deal with. I feel as if I can't complete things, I feel that I can't be successful in a career. I even think sometimes that I'm not a fit mother because of migraines. I have my ups and downs. I do have times of great inspiration and hope, but with all diseases and chronic illnesses, the negatives of life are never far enough out of site.
Thanks for listening.

Dare I say it? Chronic Migraine

2009-08-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

I'm very discouraged. Although, yesterday was a good day. I did yoga twice and got a massage. I read last night that if you have 15 migraines within a month, for more than three months, then it is considered Chronic Migraine. Either way you put it, that doesn't sound good. And is definitely not fun!
My migraine attacks started to increase last May. That is what got me to filling my Imitrex to the point that I can no longer get them at the pharmacy. It was also what indicated that the Elavil wasn't really helping. I was taking a triptan at least 3 times a week. I haven't experienced rebound headache yet. I always get all the same classic migraine symptoms. Although, I was able to abort several of the migraines, if I hadn't taken something, then they would of become full blown.
I am concerned about rebound now because since July 2nd, I've taken a triptan 5 out of 7 days in a week. Although, reading about rebound, I don't have just an overall pain, it can start on either side of the head and includes all the other fun symptoms. I have switched triptans, so in the past month, I've gone from Imitrex to Treximet to Maxalt. The struggle is that once I get the indicators that one is coming on, there is no use waiting. No first line of defense works anymore. And if I wait to take it, then I suffer because I don't end up getting any relief. My triggers have been outrageous since the beginning of July.

Here is a small list of what has been happening in my life:
Storms almost daily (since May)
Went off Elavil
Had company (two different times)
Summitted a mountain
Refrigerator died
All day meetings
A marriage retreat
A wedding
Female monthly issues
A day trip
More meetings
My oldest started back to school

I do want to start some major trigger avoiding. It doesn't help that I live a mile above sea level, in a state that has sun 360 days a year and is extremely dry! Not to mention has the daily thunderstorm in the summer. I do need to eat at a regular schedule and do yoga. Consistent sleep is just not possible with three kids under the age of 8. The littlest is really teething right now, too.
If the trigger avoiding doesn't help and the yoga, I'm not sure what to do. I've tried daily Elavil and Verapamil with no luck. And for some reason my doctor is against Topamax. So, we'll see...

MEDS! One a day since quite Elavil!

2009-08-13T22:19:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has migraines knows the whole struggle of finding meds that help preventative and as needed. I need to pull up my migraine plan again and edit a few things. My doctor said it was Ok to stop the Elavil. I felt it really didn't help decrease the amount or severity. Although, for the past week since I've been off, I've had to take a Treximet or Maxalt. I tried filling my Imitrex, but the insurance wouldn't help. I guess I haven't waited long enough, the pharmacy wanted $93! and for the generic! So, I'm going to ask to try Topamax. I had a great conversation with a mom of one of my son's fellow karate students. Her daughter is in high school and gets migraines a lot. The Topamax seems to really be helping.
I also read a great book called 'Migraine and Other Headaches' by Stewart Tepper, MD. It is five years old, but still very informative. Since I have just started seeking treatment in the last couple of years, I don't know a lot about the causes. I've always been more into the treatment. It was great to become educated and learn that it is a genetic neurological disorder. Not great that I have it, but it shed some light for me. The triggers over stimulate my excitable brain (actual term) and send the migraine into process. It explained the cause of my neck pain.
I haven't started physical therapy yet because of waiting to hear about the insurance coverage. We'll see how well it helps me to relax. Basically the migraine causes the muscle tightness, not the other way around. But, it will help me to lower stress, which is a huge cause of mine. Basically, staying on an even keel and trying to avoid those over excited brain triggers will be very helpful. I also learned that not to mess around and just take the triptan as soon as I feel it coming on. Taking something else doesn't help because of how severe and frequent mine are. There is not guessing whether it will be a migraine, whether bet on it that it will be.

The Top of Mt. Evans!

2009-08-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

Summiting Mt. Evans

2009-08-08T22:13:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it, I finally achieved my goal! I didn't think I could do it, but I did. Granted, I didn't exactly climb the mountain the way I imagined, but I survived 14,000 feet! We had family visiting, so we decided to take a trip to the mountains. We've only driven to about 9,000 feet on Mt. Evans before. We figured we should just take them to the top. I've gotten bad migraines at 9,000 before, so I figured I'd need to take some precautions.
I had imaged that my husband would summit Mt. Evans by at least doing a five mile hike or a hike from Summit Lake. With visitors and little kids, we thought it would be fun to drive up to the summit. There is a parking lot about a quarter of a mile from the summit, about 150 feet below. As we left the house, I took 800 mg of Advil and took a regular Coke to drink. I driving one of the cars, so I wanted to be prepared.
It was a beautiful drive up. After the tree line, it was amazing. As you rounded the hair pen turns, it looked as if you were going to take off into the sky! It was nothing but blue sky and white fluffy clouds. When we got to the parking lot, I was very excited. I felt a little out of breath, but nothing to be concerned about. The baby and my oldest stayed with Nana while my husband, his brother, my daughter (who is 4) and I hiked to the top. It was a rocky trail. It wasn't what I expected. It was very rocky with lots of boulders. I guess I pictured more of a smooth service, not sure why. I did feel more winded, but not much head pressure as we hiked.
When we got to the top, it was amazing. We took pictures of our feet around the summit marker. It was so cool. I remember feeling exhilarated. I liked the feel of the giant boulders and carefully navigating around them. It was a little scary climbing up on the top one, very open and exposed! I wasn't so much the view, but the connection with the surface of the mountain top that amazed me the most.
After we came down, I did take a Treximex as a precaution. The only thing I regret is not drinking nearly as much water as I should of. I paid for thtat today. I didn't feel sick yesterday or last night, but started to today. Luckily, I took another Treximex before it developed into a full blown migraine.

I don't feel like I've conquered migraine by this climb, but instead I feel empowered and that it is possible to do some challenges. You just have to plan them out well.

Physical Therapy to help?

2009-08-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

I saw my doctor on Monday. It had been six months. During that time, I was on elavil daily (antidepressant), and some supplements. I didn't feel that the elavil had helped at all. So, she decided to take me off of it. She did give me some samples of some other meds, like the new treximex and maxalt because I mentioned that it has been taking about an hour for the imitrex to work.
We talked about the different ways the headaches come on. I really like talking with her because she is a migraine sufferer herself. I told her that the ones that start in the back, at the base, of my head end up being the worse. Usually, the ones that start on either side of my face don't lead to vomiting. The others do, unless I take some medication quickly. Unfortunately, these come on quick and are harder to catch in time. I wish I could take some sort of daily treatment to help prevent them other than avoiding triggers. Sometimes it is impossible to avoid them or I don't even realize one is causing a headache. When I took an blood pressure medication, it seemed to lessen the severity, but my new doctor doesn't want to put me on one again because my blood pressure tends to stay pretty low.
Once I mentioned the migraines that start in the back of my head, she recommended some stretches to do. Basically, when you carry yourself with your neck bent forward a tad, you activate those muscles and tendons. Especally sitting at the computer for long periods of time. After awhile, they start to cause a migraine. So, our next plan of action that is somewhat preventative is to do phsycial therapy. She told me that for her, getting a deep tissue massage of that area about once a month really helps. She wrote a referral to a good physical therapist. I plan on calling today to get an appointment. After so many visits I should be able to just go to a massage place to get one once a month. I'm not sure how often she recommended the therapy at first. I have it writing down.
Ever since Monday, I've been very conscience of trying to deactivate the muscles in the back of my neck and top of my back. I believe it is helping to retrain those muscles, but will take awhile. She did recommend daily stretches, including one where you barely hang your head off the side of a bed while lying on your back. It really helps to stretch the front chest muscles and release the back ones.
I really hope this helps. We'll see what happens. I also decided to get a pocket calendar to start writing down whenever I have or feel one coming on. Just to keep track in case of changes or if they are related to my menstrual cycle. Again, my doctor said I shouldn't need a ctscan because I had one when I was about 8 or 9 years old, when the headaches first started, and I haven't had much of a change in severity or any neurological symptoms.
I'll let you know how physcial therapy goes!

Painful Children's Laughter?

2009-07-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

I know my children can be very loud at times, but I never thought of their laughter being painful. What an odd and sad thing. Monday night we had spent sometime at a friends house. I had had a very full day. Exercise, chores, the beach. I should of seen it coming. I kept trucking on though, thinking, 'Oh, I'll be fine. This hasn't been too stressful.' I was wrong, though.
I could feel it coming on in the back of my head. The kind that makes me feel like I need to crack & stretch my neck. Usually I have more time with that kind. Just as we got in the car, at about 9:30 pm, the pain hit me hard. The three kids are jammed in the backseat. They are being good, they knew I didn't feel good. Then, my oldest one starts making the baby laugh. It is so cute, but hurting my head. Then, the other two start laughing. Like I said, it is so cute, but painful. I found it rather ironic and sad. They settled down a bit for me.
When my husband pulled into the garage and put the car into park, I got out and headed straight for bed. I didn't even bother to get my purse out of the car. I tried laying down, but then felt the nausia set in. I went to the bathroom and just sat on the floor by the toilet. I felt so weak and nausious. While I was sitting there, I started to hear the tornado siren! What, there was no server weather on the way home. I heard my husband come upstairs to grab the kids. Not before the oldest had run into my daughters room and scared her awake by yelling in her face there was a tornado! She still gets nervous, three days later, when she hears any siren.
I decided to drag my nausieated self to the bathroom downstairs. Growing up in the midwest, I learned not to mess around when tornado sirens go off. As I was sitting in the bathroom downstairs, I can hear the TV through the door. The funnel cloud hadn't touched down and was at least 4 miles away. That was a relief. Although, I didnt' get to relax before I threw up. I spent a little more time on the floor of the bathroom upstairs. I was still very weak, but not as nausious. The pain was almost gone, too.
When I get a full blown migraine, that is what I like to call them when I throw up, it hits me fast and hard. I may be able to pick up on the warnings signs during the day or I may not. Sometimes I can't tell if it is going to turn into a migraine or not. I hate intoxicating myelf with strong meds, so I'm sometimes too late with taking an imitrex. It also takes sometime for it to start working, about an hour.
I do plan on going to the doctor in August. I'll talk to her and see what she says. In the meantime, I still love to hear my children's laughter, even if it is painful.

Not Enough Imitrex?

2009-07-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

O.K., so I've started having this fear of not having enough Imitrex. Supposedly you are not able to fill your Rx unless it has been a month. Isn't that great. So, I've started playing the waiting game. Do I take one or not? I currently have 1-2 left and am not sure whether or not to take one. I had to take one last night, but am now starting to feel one coming on. This is such an annoyance because according to the doctor, you're suppose to take one as soon as you feel it coming on. I used to be able to take a high dose of Advil, but that doesn't really work anymore.
I also start the game of 'what caused one to start,' as soon as I feel it. My husband tells me not to do that, but it is if I can't help it. I don't know if it comes from trying to figure out the triggers or not. But, I spend time reeling over whether or not I could of done something better or it figure out what not to do tomorrow. This does get kind of ridiculous because just the slightest thing could go wrong and trigger one. Maybe I ate lunch an hour later than usual or I did one too may activities that day. Who knows! The weather is really driving me crazy. We usual have a month, month and a half of daily thunderstorms here in Denver. This year, it has been all of May, all of June and so far most of July!
Anyway, for the sake of my children and since their father is out of town, I'm going to take something. I think I'll try an Advil first. I'm glad he is only gone for five days. I always fear getting really sick when he is gone. At least I know I can call our friends if I need help.

Not Making It Far

2009-06-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it is the time of year or the culmination of events, but I'm definitely not making it very far between headaches. We all traveled to Michigan to travel family. It was a good trip, but not easy on the head. I got my imitrex filled before heading out and then I just got it refilled the other day. That was only a month. I don't like going through a whole pack in just a month. It isn't a fun feeling when you walk up to the pharmacy counter and have to ask if it has been long enough to get your imitrex refilled. I'm not sure if it is still true, but when I first starting getting it a few years back, you had to wait 30 days between refills.
It also hasn't helped that I have been way out of my routine since our trip. It just takes so much energy to maintain it while away from home. Now, I realize it is well worth the effort because I am having such a hard time getting back into it. I felt so much better when I was exercising regularly. I know that it is hard for me to pinpoint a single specific trigger. It is usually a combination. So, I'm sure the storms that roll through every afternoon have been effecting me, along with how I take care of my body. Not eating on time (or eating too much junk), not drinking enough water (or too much alcohol), all have an effect.
I am very happy to say that my husband and I just celebrated 10 years together! We've had our ups and downs, but we deeply love each other and have strong commitment. I am very thankful to be married to someone who really understands. He doesn't have migraines, but is very compassionate towards me and understands what I need to stay sane. This really helps with the kids. We've always said that God is first, then us, then the kids. I think this really makes a difference in our lives. They aren't always perfect, but we all love each other no matter what. I still sometimes wonder, especially the days I wake up just wiped out from the imitrex, if I'm doing a good job taking care of the kids. It isn't easy, but I do my best and they know that. And above all, they know that mommy and daddy love them no matter what. I try to remind myself that we are not teaching them that life should be perfect by avoiding the hard stuff and sheltering them from it. We also are teaching them that you don't have to try to make life better all the time by always reassuring them of our love for them and each other.

The Weather

2009-05-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

We've hit monsoon season here in Denver. That makes for several barometric pressure drops during the week. This doesn't help with the migraines. It seems much earlier to me this year, although, the weather reporter said that May is our wettest month. I remember it being worse in June. Of course, last year, I was pregnant and could of cared less about the weather. I'm one of those lucky ones who doesn't get migraines when pregnant.
Anyway, I've had to take more Imitrex than usual lately. What I've noticed is how awful it is making me feel the next day. I literally feel like I've been running for ten miles and in an intense wrestling match. I don't remember it making me feel that way before. I still haven't checked in with the doctor, maybe once we get back from visiting family. I wonder if it makes anyone else feel this way. It does concern me to think what it might be doing to my body, long term.
I have been eating better and exercising more. By more, I don't me a bunch of cardio, I just can't handle that type of activity. I've been doing yoga three times a week for a half an hour each time. Then, on the other days, I've been using my thigh trainer. It is like a stair climber, but you push your feet more out to the side when you go down. Works the thighs more! I don't do it for cardio, more for working the major muscle groups. I do lite arm weights at the same time, for about 15 mins. 3xs a week. This has made me feel so much better. I'm not over extending myself, but I am more active than before. Also, cutting out a lot of the refine crap we like to eat has helped, too.
I'm not sure at this point if the antidepresants are still working well. I still think they make the attacks less severe, but don't seem to be preventing them. I do still take my big B vitamin, an Omega 3, and a magnesium. My main concern right now is how the Imitrex is making me feel. Maybe I had to take too many in a shorter amount of time than I'm used to. I'll have to ask the doctor about it.
For now, I'll continue to brave the monsoon season. I mentioned above, we are traveling soon and I dare not go without my meds. Another new habit, I wonder its effects, is I've been making it a point to spend a little bit more time in the sun when possible. Of course, being in Denver helps with that, it is almost always sunny. It feels nice and warm and relaxing. I had been reading up on the new findings on vitamin D and our tendancy to lack it here in the U.S. I don't spend more than a half an hour at a time (without sunscreen). And I've noticed on cloudy days, how much I miss it!

I almost made it a month!

2009-05-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

It had been about a month since my last, what I call full blown, migraine. I have little nagging ones here and there. Some that don't even require an imitrex. It is possible to have a painless one, I've had those. You just get all the pleasant side effects that go with it. What I mean by 'full blown' is a 10 on the pain scale and throwing up along with it. These are the ones that have snuck through without any meds helping. Or, it was too late by the time I took one. I still can't stand taking the heavy drugs, like Imitrex. I don't like to think what it could be doing to my body, but the awful experience coupled with studies that suggest they may cause brain damage, isn't a good option either. One thing I've noticed, it that the 800mg of Ibprofen with occasional addition of benadryl isn't working like it used to. It is a much drier time of year with possible quick weather changes. I think that I may need to go see the doctor again soon.

Blessings and many pain free days. I can say that I am very thankful for several great creative outlets lately and my wonderful friends and family.

It's been a month?

2009-04-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

I graduated from school just under a month ago and haven't written in exactly a month. I guess I have had an aversion to the computer since I spent so much time on it for school. It has been a nice break from technology. It has also been wonderful not having to study almost every night. I've gotten to relax and figure out a new schedule. It was rough coming back from FL, which I knew it would be. I had about four days in a row with headaches, especially after the let down of turning in my portfolio, which was a huge assignment. Since then I've been pretty much enjoying more freedom and less stress. Holy Week came really quickly after graduation. It was pretty hectic, but OK. I didn't feel the effects of all the activities of my husbands job until Easter night. Another, let down of stress that makes sense that I'd get a migraine. This past weekend we had crazy weather here in Denver. It snowed almost two feet and then was 60 degrees two days later. That was definitely the makings of a migraine.

Since school has been over, we've made a few changes in our home. We are now eating super healthy. Lots and lots of veggies and hardly any carbs and if we do they are whole grain. We went through a sort of detox week of no carbs at all and mostly veggies (the green and colorful kind, not potatoes and corn). I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't react with a migraine. I guess my body needed it. Indigestion on the other hand, was there. The other change was doing the intentional meal times and three snacks for a total of six eating times. In the past, and still sometimes now, my migraines were easily triggered by not eating well or on time. I was just telling my husband tonight that I feel the best I've felt physically in a long time.

I've started up a few volunteer design projects and have found the one to be very enjoyable. I also started writing again, a novel of sorts, since I finished school. It has been a great creative escape. Even though there are still things that I know I can't control that cause migraines in me, I do feel so much better being healthier.

Happy Earth Day, tomorrow!

Challenges

2009-03-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

There are many things that can challenge a mom of three. Just having three kiddos says it all. I have had a nice time in Florida with my kids. We have been visiting Grammy and Poppa. But...I am very exhausted without my husband to help. We took one of our annual trips where the kids and I go because without Daddy, we are able to stay longer. I'm happy to see my parents, but it has been very challenging to take care of the kids. They help as much as they can, but it just isn't the same as having Daddy around.
I feel like I'm constantly on call. When there is a need or a desire to whine, the kids automatically come to me. My headaches haven't been as bad as usually. I've had to take strong Advil and Benadryl. I also laid down for about 30 minutes the other day, but haven't had a full blown migraine. This is good progress. It has still been more of a challenge than I think I can handle.
Not only have I taken care of food and juice needs, I'm also the social adviser. As soon as boredom kicks in, they come to me. So, it has been a trip, but not a vacation. I think these trips will need to be restructured from now on.
I spoke with a friend tonight. She was just diagnosed with a serious condition. She doesn't have any children. She said that with having kids, I didn't have to just think about myself all the time. That was a new thought for me. I have been just focused on how to take care of myself and them at the the same time. I didn't realize that having them to focus on also, keeps me from dwelling on my physical challenges.

I DON'T WANT To Be Supermom (or woman).

2009-02-17T23:35:00.001-08:00

I thought that the week my husband was out of town was the big test. Although, my headaches seem to be getting much less frequent, this last two weeks have been a bear. The upper respiratory flu has been reeking havoc in our house. It hasn't brought much headache pain, but quite the wear and tear on my body. I haven't been sick like this since I was in college! It started as a sore throat and has developed into a nasty cough. The good thing is I went to the doctor yesterday and was put on an antibiotic. I had gotten a headache Sunday night, but I think that was mostly because of dehydration from the flu. I was able to take care of it with my big Advils. I was also taking cold meds, which I'm sure helped. I kept saying to my hubby that I can handle migraines, but being sick like this for so long really sucks. I had no voice for about 6 days, was really congested and just felt awful.
So, what does this have to do with supermom? Well, a migraine for me lasts no more than a few hours. The longest I had was in Breckenridge, CO (+9,000 feet). It lasted for two days. But let me tell ya, sick for two weeks is not fun. I really don't know how the chronic headache sufferers do it. I can usually tell when a headache will break. This seems to have no end in sight. Well, at least feels like it. During this time, I realized just how much my husband works. Being sick and taking care of three little ones, which include a five month old, makes you very anxious for when help arrives. My husband was great though, he did the best he could with shaving work hours and even arranged rides home from school for the oldest. I couldn't get anything done around the house. It was hard to even get my three year old breakfast and lunch, not to mention feed the baby. I fell behind in school work. I'm still trying to get laundry put away from two weeks ago. Being in this state really put some things into perspective. Like I said earlier, I've always known the pain would go away and it wouldn't take up my whole day, let alone two weeks! This is crazy. But, as a mother, I've learned that I can't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I can let go of dusting, I don't think I've done it in a month. I did do the top of the china cabinet quick today. It is short and black and the dust was very obvious. I thought about the pressures to keep a great house, play with the kids, look after their health and nutrition, be concerned about their mind and spiritual health, nurture my marriage, think about graduating and finding a job, listening to my husbands' troubles at work and deal with fifty demands for juice and snacks all day. And yes, the days my husband works from 10 am to 9 pm or so. Then, it is lets tackle reinforcing all the good changes in the kids we want to see! Ha! That is A LOT! Oh yeah, and the groups I serve on at church. Would it really be the end of the world if I didn't do all that? Is it OK to say I'm just not the type of person to handle all this? I don't want to say, well, 'That's just being a mom and a wife.' I've never been one to accept something that doesn't seem right. This pace isn't healthy and I'm sure it hasn't helped my migraines. Even though I've been sick, I've probably rested more and done much less than I ever have. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here. What will I let go, even if just in attitude? My house doesn't have to be perfect and neither do my kids!

Is it working?

2009-02-06T22:21:00.000-08:00

It is funny how certain things can make your life feel 'normal' that aren't normal at all. I've had a cold for the last couple of days and have had no migraines. Matter of fact, I think I've been migraine free for a week! It has been a long time since that has happened. I did finally get up to the normal dose of the Elavil and it has been a few weeks since my new routine. Maybe it is helping? We'll see. A good friend, who isn't a migraine sufferer, left a nice comment on one of my previous posts. She talked about her crazy days and struggling to keep it all together and take care of three kids. It was a refreshing reminder that we are all human and humanity can be pretty messy at times. One of the things I struggle with being a church member is the nice face we all put on Sunday mornings. It isn't always the case, you will find genuine and honest people that really consider their responses to 'how are you doing?' And, I do truly enjoy seeing everyone. I just don't like the feeling of covering up, when in fact, I feel like absolute crap, can't handle my husband's long work hours and just need to get away. But, do I say that, nope. I usually smile and say things are going O.K. It is funny because I've had a few people I've sent the link to my blog to and they told me that they never realized how life was with migraines. I am happy because they have been educated, but also wonder just how good of a job I am doing covering things up. I do know that there are appropriate and not appropriate times to share the juicy details of my life, but I feel I've been doing myself a deservice. I highly value honesty and integrity. I always try to speak the truth, but I've become really good at hiding reality. Life is messy, no matter how hard you work at cleaning it up. So, how do we function with what we got and where we are at? I've always heard that the human species is highly adaptable, so lets adapt. How do I show the reality of my life? I don't want to come across as the poor me and the one who always has something to complain about. It seems like there should be this place where I can be honest, geniune and truely loving towards others. I want to reach this place. It is funny because I wouldn't call this place the 'norm.' Just like how being pregnant and having a cold holds migraines at bay. It is different. It is something that will take time and practice. Just like figuring out your migraine triggers and what meds help. I think I'll start with my kids. They deserve reality and how to function in it.

Migraine Awareness Month

2009-01-27T00:47:00.000-08:00

There may only be a few days left in January, but there is still time to educate and bring awareness about migraine disease. According to an article at Medical News Today. com, it is migraine awareness month. I encourage you to send this link to as many people as possible. You can also send them a link to M.A.G.N.U.M, the National Migraine Association. There is great information on their site, especially about dispelling myths about migraines.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/18820.php
http://www.migraines.org/about_media/prnewswr.htm

The Ultimate Mommy Migraine Test

2009-01-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

My husband started working on his Doctorate last year. It is mostly online, but he has to travel to St.Paul, MN twice a year for a whole week. This past week he has been gone for his second trip. The first week, back at the end of July, wasn't so bad. I was still pregnant so I wasn't having any migraines. Although, I complained plenty about being pregnant, being in a new house and taking care of two little ones. Well, this week has been quite different. I'm back into full migraine disease swing and I was very nervous about him leaving. I managed to get a couple good playdates with good friends scheduled and knew I had people at my disposal just in case. I managed to get from Sunday night until Tuesday afternoon without a migraine. I've been very good about staying on my new routine of medicines and supplements and paying attention to my body for any warning signs. My very gracious husband was thoughtful enough to get rides to and from school set up for my first grader. That was a huge help . I'm not a morning person and didn't want to have to feed the baby (which my hubby does the first one of the day) and then drag all three of them into the car at 7:30 in the morning. So, that was a huge help. It did come in handy on Tuesday especially because I was feeling one coming on around the time school got out. I didn't mess around this time, I went ahead and took an Imitrex. Luckily it was nap time for the baby and the older two were able to watch a few cartoons until I was able to get up and make dinner. I actually felt pretty decent and didn't need to call anyone to help out. Yesterday went pretty well. I believe I did take one of the big Advils before bed because I was feeling a little yucky. It was really nice this afternoon, one of our good friends that we like to call one of the kids' Colorado Grandmas, called to check up on me. She is a fellow migrainer and has come to the my rescue with the kids a few times. It was really nice to have someone check up on me. I let her know I was hanging in there and was feeling really fatigued today. I think it was because of my body not being used to the Imitrex again yet and we had karate class for the oldest last night. I had to drag everyone to that. Next time, I'm getting a sitter for the other two! Well, with that said, I did get one today. Not a huge one, like the one I stopped on Tuesday, but the nagging kind with the pain on the right side of my face. I took a big Advil and it has kept it a bay but I still feel a bit of pain. I'll be heading to bed soon. Thank goodness all the little ones went to bed early tonight. Our daughter, the middle one, still has some problems getting to bed. Since Daddy had been gone, she had been sleeping in our room with me. I love her so much and she is so precious, but I really needed a break. I'd been with her literally 24/7 since Daddy left on Sunday. I have high hopes for tomorrow. It is the last morning of getting my oldest off to school. I'm excited because a good friend is coming over in the afternoon, a time that is much easier to handle than the morning. She has a little girl the same age as my daughter (yeah, no loud boys!). Then, finally, Daddy arrives back in Denver at 1 pm on Saturday! Before I got off the phone with the 'CO Grandma' today, she made me promise to call if I needed her. That makes all the difference in the world right there. Considering that I've only been on my new treatment for a week and a half now, (and happened to have monthly hormonal changes this week) I've done pretty well. I've been doing great with the kids and keeping up with my school work! Although, my husband does know that he owes me big time when he gets back! Maybe I should go on vacation.

I just wanted to add a thank you to all of you who read my blog. It means a lot to me. It means you care and understand. Having that type of support means so much when you have migraines.

Week One Report

2009-01-18T22:13:00.000-08:00

So far so good. The Elavil was making me a little sleepy in the morning, but I'm surviving. I decided to stay at the half dose for another week then go to the full. I want more time to adjust. I've had to take the higher dose of Advil three times this week. I've started keeping track. I took it at the very first sign of a headache coming and it worked! Lets hope my body doesn't get used to it and make it so I have to take more. I haven't had to use any Imitrex yet. I hope this continues to go well. This past week could of been a good one for migraines and I didn't get a full blown one, so we'll see.

Here is my Migraine Plan

2009-01-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

I think it is a good idea to have a migraine plan. That way when you are in terrible pain or mental confusion, it is written down for you somewhere and you can get to treating it fast!
See the blog below for my experience at the doctors today!

Daily Supplements
400 mg magnesium
B stress complex a.m.
Borage oil
Women's Multi-V

Onset of Migraine
800 mg Advil
Sudafed or Benadryl
Head On Migraine-for facial muscle tension
Ice cold glass apple juice
Some sort of chocolate or cookie-if can
Imitrex-if severe

Daily medications
Elavil, anti-depressant

See below to see why this combination!

I DID IT!

2009-01-12T21:18:00.000-08:00

I finally went back to the doctors today! I don't know why it is so hard for me to get help sometimes. Pride, maybe. I am still uncertain about taking Imitrex and other harsh drugs. I am happy though to get back on a daily regiment. Have you heard of the 'Boston Cocktail?' The name seemed familiar to me. My doctor, who also gets migraines, said that a team of doctors from Harvard did some headache research and found certain supplements to help. I've already been taking one, magnesium, the doctor just upped that dose to 400mg. Altogether, the cocktail is made up of; magnesium 400mg, a high B complex (B stress, she called it) and CoEnyzme Q10. I didn't buy the last one yet because it is very expensive. I will see how my plan goes in the next six weeks and then decide it I want it. I also still take a multi-V and Borage oil. My doctor also put me on a very low dose anti-depressant called Elavil. I looked up its side effects and they seem very typical. She didn't want to put me back on the blood pressure meds because I have low pressure to begin with and a low end of normal heart rate. This is actually a good thing. The Elavil has been shown to help in some studies. More popular current anti-depressants have not been found to be helpful she said. I think this will be good and help with some of those monthly mood sings. She didn't think that my migraines were solely associated with my cycle because they started when I was very young and I get them just as bad at other times of the month. She did prescribe some more Imitrex though for those bad migraines, which I am happy to find out that there is a generic for it now. She also said to take a higher does of Advil when I start to feel the small and very early warning signs. This can keep me from having to take the Imitrex, but if I know it is going to be a big one, just take it so it takes less meds to get rid of it. The advil worked tonight! I also bought me a big bottle of Apple juice to help keep me hydrated when I feel one coming on. I've also noticed again that with my diet, it isn't so much certain foods as it is not eating on time that triggers them. The other interesting thing, which I've noticed before, is that if I eat a meal very low in carbs or fat, I get hungrier a lot quicker and am very likely to get a headache. So, I'm going to start eating some sort of little dessert. I picked up some Kashi cookies that have a good amount of fiber and good fats in them. I hope they help to keep the hunger headaches away. I used to eat a ton of granola bars as a kid. I need to start carrying those again. I usually forget to restock because my kids eat them up.
This was a good day and we'll see how the next six weeks go as my body adjusts to the new meds and supplements.
Again, don't just take my experience as advice, see your doctor!

The Holidays

2009-01-02T01:47:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed the holidays, but I'm glad the craziness is over. It was great to have family visit. My husband's step mother flew in on Christmas Eve and it was really nice. I have learned that I can't drink Chardonnay without getting a headache. Not the best discovery, but doable. I had one glass with dinner one night and went to bed with a migraine. Then, last night, New Years Eve, I had about 2 and a half glasses of the bubbly variety. I didn't wake up with a headache, but instead it developed later in the day. We got up and around, had lunch with some friends and then had other friends over for the Rose Bowl game. I felt one creeping in as the day worn on and then, it hit hard just before our company left. I broke down and took an Imitrex. It had been almost a year. I knew this one meant business, so I didn't want to mess around. I had taken Tylenol and Advil earlier in the day as I felt it developing. This time, I also took a tsp. of Benadryl. It knocked me out, but really got rid of it quick. I slept for a couple of hours and my awesome husband took the kids out, so the house was quiet. I'm going to keep working at taking care of myself, but see a doctor. I have felt myself starting to swing in the opposite direction as before. I know sometimes the headaches are inevitable because they can be hormonal. So, I don't want to take things to extreme and become scared of doing things because I know I'll get a migraine. Before, I pushed myself too hard, now I am finding myself not doing good things because of the looming fear of a migraine. For example, I've stopped exercising. That isn't healthy either. Besides, I have read that it can be helpful. The reason to see the doctor is to maybe get back on the Verapamil to have the extra help I need to have confidence to do some of those things I'm fearing. I accept I have migraines, I take care of myself and do what I can to avoid triggers, but will not let these headaches control my life!
Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T03:45:00.000-08:00

The good news is that all the stress and all the busyness didn't result in a full blown migraine. I believe I may be learning how to take care of myself. It is hard to find that balance between doing what I perceive as good for me and what my body is telling me is good for me. I want to exercise more, I want to get up earlier, but sometimes that just isn't possible. I think that I should exercise to loose that last bit of baby weight. I think I should get up earlier because that is what 'normal' people do and somehow this effects my children. I know that these are generally good disciplines, but for me they can result in a migraine. This is where I find it hard to be graceful to myself. Some how I get the notion that if I don't do these perceived 'normal' activities that I am somehow messing up my children's lives. 'Mommy is weird', 'Mommy is sick and that is bad', and so on, are thoughts that I have. There is also a fine line between leisure, taking care of myself and just wanting to escape. It can get very confusing. What is the best quality of life for me and those around me? How do I accomplish this? I'm not sure, but I do know why am I here. To love the world and love my family. When I start to have these negative self views, I miss out on the opportunities that are there to fulfill this purpose.
So, I survived the holidays. I was somewhat gentle on myself. I was able to roll a bit with the punches, but not compromise so much that Christmas lost its excitement and enjoyment. I don't think that once you find balance that is stays put and stable, instead, things get thrown at you that tips you one way or the other. What matters is how you work to find your way back.

All at Once!

2008-12-18T04:40:00.000-08:00

I've got all the fixings for a migraine tomorrow, or should I say today! I am so glad that my school is almost over, but my final webpage was due tonight. I got it all done and in by 3am, but then I've been so wound up that I'm not tired. For me, going to bed not tired is just as bad as staying up all night, so here I am. You can check out my work:
http://mr5393.aisites.com/index.html
Not too bad for my first website. I do live for designing things; rooms, cards, whatever.
So, what are the fixings for a migraine? This week we had an event Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night and tonight. Also, I had my final due, which caused me to get no sleep. My neck is sore from working at the computer. Earlier today, I was fighting one off, luckily I won! Also, I am in the bad part of the hormonal monthly battle. This seems to be a big trigger for me.
I will do my best to take it easy tomorrow and take my supplements. I still haven't called the doctor. I'm not happy to admit, but I think that only something synthetic will help prevent them. Let's see, do I want brain damage or liver damage? I'm still not sure yet. Of course, improving my daily life would also improve the lives of those around me. We'll see after the Holidays. I hope everyone enjoys, theirs!

seeking daily prevention?

2008-12-12T01:37:00.000-08:00

So, I'm not quite sure what to make of the brain damage, since I hadn't thought about it that way before. I've read some of the articles on the studies. I do agree that prevention is the best treatment. Being aware of your warning signs and triggers. Trying to avoid them and take care of yourself is best. Of course, I sit here typing at a very late hour, which may catch up to me later. On the other hand, I'm not tired and am used to getting up with the baby. The good thing is that he is started to sleep longer at night! But then again, this is the only time I get alone. I call it my unwinding time. Some nights, I have school work due, so it isn't very unwinding. I think I may start by calling my primary care doctor, actually the practice. I think I mentioned before that the doctor who was treating me died of cancer this past summer. So, I'll have to find out who to go to now in the practice. I'm going to keep up with the tricks of the trade; magnesium, GLA, staying hydrated, nose spray, not doing so much, and keeping stress reactions down. I've heard that dark chocolate and cold juice helps, too. But, with fighting off symptoms every other day, I need to get back on something for daily prevention. I've actually only had a couple of full blown (the works) within a month. The others are more mild. I get all the warning signs and symptoms, but not the intense pain, which I've read that painless migraines do exist. The warning signs I experience are; a visual aura (they are like big blurry spots in my field of vision), intense sinus pain, muscle tension and pain on one side of the face (can be either side), nausea, intestinal issues, sensitivity to light and noise. Things that set it off are: intense light, over activity, skipping meals and snacks, change of routine, high altitude (come to Colorado to experience that one. I had one for two days in Breckenridge, which is just above 9,000 ft.), muscle tension, dehydration, lack of sleep and I'm sure there is more. I've really learned to keep my body comfortable. If I wear something that is too tight or sits funny around my neck, it can trigger one. I also can't wear my contacts for long because they cause my eyes to dry up and tense. On that note, I need to take my supplements and get to bed! Goodnight!

fellow migrainer

2008-12-06T15:57:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a week. It really flew by. We had a going away party for some of our dear friends, who left for Australia today. Although, they are only suppose to be gone for three years, it feels like a long time. We hung out with them Thursday night with some mutual friends. It was nice and we did a little Christmas for them. I was talking with the host and she suffers from bad migraines, too. So much so that she uses more than the allowed prescribed imitrex per month. That is scary. We were sharing some of our tricks and findings about what works and what doesn't. One thing I've noticed is that light, of any sort, is a big trigger right now. There was a candle lite on the table and I asked to blow it out because it was right in my line of sight and I could feel it starting something. I've also noticed at home that if I stand where the light isn't covered by the shade, then it starts the process. Thank goodness I haven't had any reaction to the CFL bulbs. For me, it doesn't matter what kind. We have almost all CFLs and them by themselves have not triggered a migraine. Sunlight is a big one, too. It is very bright here in Denver, so I'm constantly wearing sunglasses. Although it was a crazy week, it hasn't been nearly as bad as last week. My kids aren't all sick anymore, so that helps. I have a cold, but it hasn't bothered my headaches. So, I'm back to square one, still debating about seeking out a daily treatment. When they were bad the week before, it was harder to get rid of all the symptoms. The worse was the intense sinus pain right at the top of my nose on the side that was hurting. Something my friend, who gets migraines said, was that her doctor believes they cause brain damage. Now, I haven't heard that one yet. I need to research that. Besides, many different things can be causing them, so who knows how they effect different people. It is still a struggle to figure out how to pay attention to myself, take care of the kids and take care of a house.

2008-11-29T02:12:00.001-08:00

I have to say, I'm pretty sad because I'm starting to think that I need to go back on some sort of daily treatment. I have had four migraines this week. It has been very tough and I'm falling behind in school. I need to get back on track with my supplements and see what happens. This past week has been unusual because all three kids have been sick at some point. It wasn't fun having an infant with a stomach virus. Good news is that he is doing fine. So, I haven't slept well. My schedule is all off and I'm feeling the stress of it all. On top of that, I then forget to drink enough water and take my supplements. Although, I haven't been letting the house or Christmas stress me out this week, so that is good. I'm sure there will always be a roller coaster of ups and downs of some sort with the migraines. I know they will never be 100% gone. I was told maybe, just maybe after menopause. It does make me think again about the hormonal effect because my body is still adjusting back to normal after having a baby. I also do believe that my headaches were worse when I was on the pill. So, I'm going to get back on track with taking care of myself. I actually have found something through one of the association's web page that talks about migraine hygiene. Basically, it is what you need to pay attention to in order to take care of yourself. Sometimes, with three little kids and a new house (and school) I forget that. It does get frustrating because I think about how I may have improved in my attitude this week. For example, not letting little things get to me. Then on the other hand, I dropped the ball on taking care of myself physically. I did feel a lot better today because my husband let me sleep a lot last night, but now I'm not tired at all. I think I need to be more gracious to myself and pay attention to me.

2008-11-25T00:18:00.000-08:00

Man was this weekend rough. It is so easy to forget that you just can't run with the rest of the crowd. We had a really nice dinner and visit with friends on Friday night, then watched football with some friends Saturday afternoon. That night was a going away party for friends, who are moving to Australia. Then Sunday was Sunday, with church. Of course, I just had to take something back to the store that then prompted finishing up the Christmas list. All the while, my husband was enjoying some hang out time with a buddy. Needless to say, I landed myself a migraine. It was a little tough to get rid of, too. I know I way over did it and wasn't taking care of myself. I'm sure I didn't hydrate myself well enough. Sometimes, it is so easy for me to forget that I just can't do as much as some who doesn't get migraines. My husband may get tired and worn down, but not as sick as I do after a weekend like that. We also had a sick little one Friday night, who has passed it on to the baby. That is why I'm posting so late. I'm keeping an eye on him.
I would say that it is a blessing and a curse, the social aspect of our lives. My husband is a pastor, so we have a lot of social opportunities. We love getting together with are friends, we are very social, but at the same time it is so hard for us to say no. We are busy all week and busy all weekend. We truly need to make a conscience effort to take a day off. So, I did kind of reach a breaking point today. We had a few very stressful things happen, so still recovering from my headache, trying to keep another from coming on and being worn down, made it very hard to handle to stress. Lets hope that we learn from this and try to make the effort to slow down a bit. Easier said than done, especially with the holidays coming up. I do have to say that today did help me to realize even more the need to lower my standards for the house and some with the kids. Even when things are hard and I feel like I'm losing it, there is grace. I don't have to do it all on my own and my family will forgive me.

2008-11-20T23:11:00.000-08:00

You know, it is so nice to read about other people who go through the same thing you do. Not that it is a nice thing to go through. They completely understand you and you know exactly what they are talking about. I just joined thedailyheadache.com blog site. It is so nice just to hear encouragement from others and to give it too. There was a young lady that I read her post and she wrote about how her kids would sit on the end of her bed and watch TV while mommy had a headache. She said they would pat her head and bring her cold washcloths. It brought tears to my eyes. It made me think about my little ones. They are so understanding and compassionate. I used to be scared that they would think that mommy got sick a lot and was weak. But I know that is wrong. They know that I am strong and still take care of them even when mommy is sick. I hope they will help others to understand what an awful thing it is to have to go through, suffering with migraines. I feel very encouraged. I'm trying to take better care of myself and prevent the triggers. It isn't always easy. Sometimes I forget that I can't do too much during my day and to eat well. I also have to continually remind myself that I'm not like other people who don't get migraines. They don't have to eat right away when they are hungry, hunger doesn't make them sick. They may get tired if they run around all day, but most likely won't get a migraine attack. It is nice to remind myself that I need to be nice to myself. I've been putting too much pressure on myself to take care of the house along with the kiddos.

2008-11-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

Although fatigue and complete exhaustion are still a daily factor, migraines have stayed away for a week. Thank God. I did learn a big lesson about depending on your friends when you need help. This morning wasn't a migraine, but I was so so exhausted. But, my husband was tuned in enough to call a friend to maybe come sit with the kids so I could get a nap in. I did end up feeling OK after the baby and I rested and the 3 year old watched some cartoons. Unfortunately, I feel so overwhelmed that I dread the morning now. I feel so tired, that it doesn't feel good to get up. Then, I just think about how crazy things are between chores, feedings and taking care of my 3 year old and myself. My husband has been so much more in tune lately, that he his really encouraging me to take care of myself. I still feel as if I need to be strong enough to not ask for help though. God willing, we'll work on that one. I myself have been more in tune with my body. Noticing when muscles are starting to tighten, so to take it easy. Also, to give my husband a call when I am feeling overwhelmed, so the stress doesn't get to me. Well, I would like to take my supplements and watch a movie with him now. I think the next step is to start a magnesium supplement. I'm considering St. John's Wort to keep me feeling balanced.

2008-11-11T20:19:00.000-08:00

Today was a good day in spite of the fact that I only got four hours of sleep last night. Partly my fault, partly the baby's fault. I usually stay up pretty late. I'm taking graphic design courses through the Art Institute online. So, after I fed the adorable cutie and found Christmas present ideas online, it was late and I figured why lay down now because he'll be up soon. Usually if this happens, my husband is able have him fed and content until about 11 am. Not today though. The little guy was hungry and my husband had to get out the door for work two hours sooner.
I tried to make sure I took it easy today. I haven't felt any warning signs, just a slight tightening in the left side of my neck, but that may turn out to be nothing. I'll probably take something lite before bed. I'm sure it is just from holding the baby. I was pleasantly surprised this weekend. We were at an event in the mountains, maybe another 1,000 or so feet up and I didn't get a migraine. Not even a warning sign!!! Usually, the altitude is a definite, no getting around one. I think staying hydrated and not doing a lot of hiking helped!
I've really learned to try to take it easy and not over due it. Being at home all day, it is so easy to get caught up in the house work, then before I know it, I'm getting a headache. I do feel fortunate that my migraines aren't chronic, but when an attack happens, they come on strong and hard. Lately with the newborn and three year old at home, I've been feeling very overwhelmed. I feel warning signs almost everyday. So, I talked to my husband about putting off school for a few months, until the baby got bigger. It was a tough talk, money is always an issue. So, knowing I have too much on my plate, I'm not sure about how to handle school. If I put it off, we have to start paying on loans. On the other hand, I'm really struggling. I basically get assignments done just to get them done. They are usually late and I don't always read the class material. I'm just getting by. I'd like to be able to learn more.
As for now, I don't know what to do. We'll see what happens. If we can put my husbands loans into deferment, then I may be able to take an extended holiday break. I haven't gone back to the doctors since the little guy was born. I'm really scared to start taking the big meds again. I was on verapamil and imitrex. My mom was diagnosed with liver disease about 2 years ago. All harsh meds are little scary to our family now. She can barely take tylenol now. She had been on several different types of medications due to anxiety and such. We'll see how long I can last on over the counter!

2008-11-07T22:37:00.000-08:00

This has been a very tough week. I just had a baby about two months ago. While I was pregnant, I didn't have a single migraine. It was great. It makes me suspect they are more hormonally caused. Now that my body is readjusting, I'm starting get warning signs again and then finally had a full blown one this morning. It is weird because I have warning signs at least every other day, but just this morning woke up to the horrible pain and nausea. Of course, being asleep. I didn't get any warning signs and wasn't able to take anything to prevent it.
On Tuesday, I really got a heavy dose of warning signs. We were all stressed out about voting, getting to the polls, hoping there were no lines and then getting to my son's school to pick him up on time. Sure enough, right as I stepped into the booth, I started to have trouble concentrating on what I was doing. It is hard enough to read the amendments. And my vision was somewhat blurred. I was able to take some rapid release pain reliever and get some hydration to head it off, but it was very frustrating. They strike at any moment. I try to look back to see what may have triggered it. Like I said, the stress, and also I had little sleep because of my newborn the night before. It scares me sometimes with being a mom to try to head them off because I don't know how I'd take care of three kids with one.
So, this morning was full blown, vomiting and everything. Luckily, my gracious husband called a friend to come help with the kids. My oldest didn't have school today. And there was no way I'd be able to feed the baby. Thank goodness I am done nursing and am comfortable using formula. Then,when she had to leave I was feeling somewhat better, but not 100%, so I called another friend to come over and hang out with me. She played with the kids and helped to keep them quite. She held the baby, too.
More than anything, I realized this morning that having more children just isn't possible. To struggle through more days like today and then have to take care of more kids would be so hard. I hope to keep finding more natural remedies and ways to prevent them. I take a regular pain reliever and some times a benadryl when I feel on come on. I also use the Head on migraine, works great for the tight muscles on the side of the face. I also take a good multivitamin and an omega 6 GLA. I need to explore more. I know that they won't ever be 100% gone, but the fewer the better, especially without the harsh drugs.

why mommy migraine

2008-11-03T20:51:00.000-08:00

It has been an interesting journey for me being a mom and a migraine sufferer. I know there are a lot of us out there. The statistics support it. But the need for support and understanding is great. People used to think that migraines were no big deal and that they were just an excuse to get out of something. Now a days, more and more doctors and employers are starting to realize that this is a real condition. It can be very serious and causes lots of people to miss work or just miss out on life.
I have had migraines since about 10 or 11 years old, I am 32 now. Back then, the doctors diagnosed me to have low blood sugar, even though I didn't have the low glucose count I still showed all the symptoms. Then, as I got older the way the headaches came on changed and it was more obvious that I suffered from migraines instead. The confusion came because not eating frequently enough caused me to get sick. After moving to Denver, I learned that high altitude also triggered a migraine for me.
I say this has been an interesting journey because being a parent and migraine sufferer is sometimes scary and definitely unpredictable. You never know when you wake up in the morning, if this will be the day that you get a migraine. And, not having family close by I have to try to figure out who to call to help with the kids if my husband can't leave work.
My migraine symptoms have also changed several times throughout my life and can be different each time, but resulting in the same thing. The scariest is when I get the aura vision problems. Once, it started while I was driving. I had to find my way back to where I was staying and fast. It isn't safe to drive when you have blind vision spots all of a sudden.
I hope by writing about my experience, I can educate people about migraine disease and find support, too.
Let's hope today is a migraine free day!